The past couple of weeks I have had a really hard time. My personality is usually able to hold it together pretty well but I was pretty much falling apart and I think it was pretty obvious. I was irritable towards my boys and at times downright hateful towards my husband. {I’ve had to do a lot of apologizing!} I cried because I couldn’t find a long sleeve white t-shirt for Thomas and when the photo center wouldn’t let me pick up my pictures without having the photographers release. I was a mess.

I could blame it on a lot of things: Will no longer napping, Thomas being newly very mobile and getting into everything, moving, trying to make friends, planning a birthday party, and the list goes on and on and on.  Then I had to take a good hard look at myself and confess that the problem was me. Being selfish.

And I love how God can really teach us when we’re at a really low point. The first was a “treasure” from my Mom reminding me that God is the potter and I am the clay and when he notices an imperfection he doesn’t leave it but squashes the pot and starts remolding. I definitely think that God is working on me by breaking down my self-reliance and causing me to truly depend on Him for every day endurance.

And I love how I can learn and connect with other moms via blogs! Seriously, some days these are the only things that make me feel “normal!” And guess what? I’m not the only mom who sometimes feels like their lives are spiraling out of control – just this week these blog posts let me know that I’m not crazy!

Little Steps {Kelly at Kelly’s Korner}

Guess What, Guys!? {Amanda at Baby Bangs}

Thoughts on Vocation…. {Abba’s Girl}

This blog by Katy is one of my all time favorites. You just have to read it because I can’t describe it but even though she is also the mom of 2 young boys she has such peace and joy that comes through her writing. Not that she’s perfect – she shares the hard things too!

Embrace & Let Go {Katy Rose}

God has also revealed some very practical steps I can take to be more focused and intentional in my every day life! Love that God doesn’t leave us in our broken down, crumbling pile of mess but lifts us up to do what He has called us to do and gives us the strength and endurance to do it!

*** I originally posted this last Thanksgiving. I enjoyed reading it again and I thought you might too. ***

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. I Thessalonians 5:18 (ESV)

“Thank you Jesus. Oh, thank you Jesus. God is good all the time, all the time God is good.” These are the words that the elderly gentleman kept repeating as he made his way slowly down the three flights of stairs. It had taken him longer than most to get up the stairs, pick out his clothing and make his way back down – being elderly and walking with a cane – but he was so glad he had.

The young woman walking down the stairs behind him was amazed at his thankfulness and his repeated praise to God for his goodness. All this over a small bag containing: 2 pairs of underwear, sweatpants, sweatshirt, jacket and a pair of shoes (that were 2 sizes too big), she thought cynically.

How often am I  humble enough to truly be thankful for all of the things God has provided for me?  How often am I amazed at God’s perfect provisions for me and my family? How often am I overwhelmed by God’s complete goodness?

I may have more “stuff” than the man I encountered Monday night but God has shown me this week that this man was rich! Rich in Christ’s love. Rich in communion with Christ. And rich in his intimacy with our creator.

Lord, humble my heart and open my eyes to your provisions and goodness. Let me be truly thankful.

Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20 (ESV)

Happy Thanksgiving!

We left town later than I had anticipated Friday morning (poor Will had a fever) so we got to Atlanta about lunch time and in the middle of the “day” sessions. So, we went to IKEA. No trip to Atlanta is complete without a trip to IKEA!

Mimi had heard about but never been to the store wonder. We looked at everything but I walked out only buying some plastic bowls for Will – the kid likes to eat everything out of a bowl.

After our IKEA adventure we had a couple of hours to kill before we could meet Zach. (Bill’s cousin graciously allowed us to stay in his condo for the night.) So, we did what anybody on “vacation” would do – we went to the movies! We saw “The Help” and it was really good.

Finally, after all that fun it was time for Women of Faith: Imagine

Our seats were AWESOME! We were about 15 rows from the stage – although it looks farther than it actually was in my picture.

The weekend was packed full of great speakers who were funny, encouraging, and challenging. The Atlanta line-up included: Lisa Harper, Sheila Walsh, Luci Swindoll, Angie Harper, Nicole Johnson & Laura Story. I could tell you a billion stories about what each speaker shared but I’ll limit it to what I learned.

Basically, our God is bigger than we can ever IMAGINE. Most of the speakers have lived through and overcome horrible things from being admitted to a psychiatric facility to losing a newborn baby. Tragedies that could have defeated them without the power of Christ living in them. And they could stand and say that God is good, God is faithful & God is love.

A few things I took away from the weekend:

• When looking at the story of Jesus and the Adulterous Woman there is something for everyone to take away. Some people need to step out of the circle of shame while others need to put down the rocks of self-righteousness.
• Sometimes God tells us that we have to walk right into our biggest fear- but we don’t have to go alone Christ is right beside us.
• In these situations we may beg God to get us out! But sometimes his response is – I’m not going to get you out but I’m going to sit here with you.
• God takes our life – as messed up and broken as it is – and turns it into a beautiful piece of art

These brief points may turn into future posts as I process them more! It’s hard to wrap my mind around everything that I learned!

We had such a wonderful time and I would encourage any woman of any age to attend if you get the opportunity!

*** Disclaimer: I was provided 2 free tickets to the Women of Faith event through BookSneeze, a division of Thomas Nelson. In return, I blogged about the event. All opinions are mine and true!***

Dear Jesus,

Thank you my moon.

Thank you my PepperAnn.

Thank you my Daddy.

Thank you my Mommy.

Amen.

A lot can change in 10 years……

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13

Praying today that as we celebrate with those we love we would strive to love well – as Christ loves us.

Thomas Earl Dixon was born January 29, 2011 at 11:50 am. He weighed 8 lbs. 6 oz. and was 21 inches long. He is a very prompt little man – being born on his due date.

I woke up several times Saturday morning beginning about 4:30 and thought I might be having contractions.  I wasn’t sure – I thought that maybe I was imagining them since I wanted to go into labor so bad. But they were real! Will woke up about 7:30 am and we ate breakfast together on the couch and watched some cartoons. Around 8 I told Bill that I was having contractions pretty regularly and he made me start timing them – they were 4 to 5 minutes apart. Bill jumped up and took a shower, packed his hospital bag and loaded up the car. I put Will in the bathtub (Bill watched & washed him) and got in the shower – I didn’t want to go to the hospital with greasy hair

We dropped Will off at his friends Javen & Liam’s house and headed to the hospital. We got to the hospital at 9:50 and Thomas was born at 11:50. Once again I didn’t want Bill to call our families until we were admitted because I just knew it was false labor and once again I was wrong.

Will is a very proud big brother! He brought me some flowers at the hospital and he keeps calling himself a “big boy” now. Most of our family was able to come and see Thomas on the day he was born – he is a very loved little boy.

Will just wants to “touch his nose” all the time. It absolutely melts my heart when I am holding Thomas and Will crawls up beside me and says right in Thomas’ face, “What doin’ brother?” I. Die.

God has really shown me His faithfulness and attention to detail – even to things that in the grand scheme of life are small. At what I had hoped would be my last prenatal doctor’s appointment my doctor encouraged me to go ahead and schedule an induction for the next week. Being induced was something that I really did not want to do, my doctor knew and understood this, but she still thought it best not to go any longer. The induction was scheduled for Tuesday, February 1. I literally had everyone I know praying that I would go into labor over the weekend so I could avoid the induction. Prayer is powerful!! I went into labor less than 24 hours after my last prenatal appointment. Thank you Jesus! I have also been praying that the adjustment for Will would be smooth and not too traumatizing. So far, I couldn’t ask for it to be better. Of course he doesn’t understand why Mommy has to be with Thomas so much, why we didn’t all go to church together today, and is trying to stretch his boundaries but overall he is gentle with Thomas and isn’t throwing huge tantrums (yet).

I am loving my house full of boys! Of course, we’ve had lots of help these first weeks – ask again in a couple of weeks and I will probably be too tired to respond

Happy Birthday Thomas! We love you so much!

We started our week of celebrating at our house December18. Will really enjoyed opening presents this year.

His “big” gift was an easel with dry erase/chalkboard.

Digging deep in his stocking.

Helping Daddy open his present.

Notice he wouldn’t put the dry erase marker down.

Our second celebration was with the entire Dixon family at Grandmama and Daddy Bill’s house. They always have the best food (at least it’s my favorite) and everyone has a great time.

At first all Will wanted to do was eat his cookie! Then, he got around to opening presents.

Aubrey and Aunt Karen checking out a new toy.

New books from Grandmama and Daddy Bill.

Will spent Sunday through Tuesday at Nonny and PawPaw’s house. He had a great time and got to do tons of fun things with his cousins Aubrey and Greyson.

Wearing PawPaw’s fire hat that was “big and heavy.”

Will, Greyson and Aubrey on the fire truck.

Paw Paw and his 3 little firefighters.

Will also got to see the Christmas lights at Rock City.

Cousins acting silly.

Giving Rocky a “high five.”

Aubrey, Paw Paw, Greyson, Will & Nonny

Tuesday night we took the Polar Express to the North Pole. Will really likes trains and was so excited to get to “touch it” and ride a real train.

Papa, Will & Honey

Will and Mommy in front of the train.

Will ready to “ride the train” in his hat, scarf & train vest.

Looking out the window at Christmas lights and on the look out for Santa.

Excited to see Santa on the Polar Express.

Sisters.

On Wednesday we celebrated with the Henderson Family. Almost everyone was able to come this year and it was so much fun! And holy smokes, the great-grandkids (and there will be at least 3 more next year!) We played “Jingo” for our gift card exchange and it was really fun.

I have 1 picture of the night. Will and Zoie playing in the kitchen and reading books. (She is going to be a great big sister!)

On Thursday we celebrated with Bill’s family. It is always fun when all 3 cousins are together (if not a bit chaotic!) Will was definitely a toddler this day – he didn’t want anyone else to play with his presents.

He couldn’t wait to start opening presents!

He loves his garage from Nonny and Paw Paw.

Aubrey opening a present.

Greyson surveying the living room.

Cousins playing with Greyson’s garage.

Christmas Eve we went to the service at my parent’s church and Will behaved so well! During the reading of the Christmas story Will kept saying “No room, no room.” It was so cute. Then we went to Dana’s house to eat pizza and play games.

Christmas morning (Saturday) we celebrated with my family. And we had a white Christmas!

Will unpacking another stocking.

Bill was super excited about his gingerbread man.

Will coloring with his new markers.

Dana was super excited about her embroidery machine (and so am I!)

Will acting like a cheeser and looking at some more new books.

Will loved running around in the snow!

Will even went sledding. He went a little bit by himself and then down the big hill with Daddy and “Psst.”

We ended the week with a few more pictures with Santa then Bill and I headed back to Nashville. Will stayed for a few more days full of fun including Playworld Down Under and the Creative Discovery Museum. Hope everyone else had as good of a Christmas as we did and Happy New Year!

During this season of Advent or the season of waiting or expecting Christ’s arrival we have been conscious in our teaching of Will about the meaning of Christmas. Every night we pull the box off the calendar and read Scripture. Of course he doesn’t understand but he can understand “Jesus’ birthday, born in a barn” and that we are reading the Bible.

This year Will has really enjoyed “helping” me wrap presents and putting them under the tree. He crawls around the tree pointing to each gift and saying who it is for. And this made me think about how mixed up the Christmas message the world hears is.

How often do we tell our children or ask, “Have you been good so Santa will bring you presents?” Isn’t this the exact opposite of God’s gift of Christ to us?

But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us! Romans 5:8

We want to strive to teach Will (and soon Thomas) that at Christmas we celebrate God’s gift of a Savior that we did nothing to earn or deserve.

We can do this by giving gifts to our children, family and friends not because they have been good but because we love them and want what is good for them. And because we want to reflect Christ in everything we do.

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him. Matthew 7:11

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Love 146 Vision: The abolition of child sex slavery and exploitation. Nothing less.

Love 146 Mission: Abolition and Restoration! We combat child sex slavery & exploitation with the unexpected and                                           restore survivors with excellence.

Why, What & Who: Love146 works toward the abolition of child sex slavery and exploitation through Prevention                                            and Aftercare solutions, and contributing to a growing abolition movement.

“Look good, feel good, do good. Tread on Trafficking 2010. This spring, put some purpose in your pace and and join Love146 in the fight against child sex trafficking while you shake off the winter blues and get ready for summer. From May 1st to June 30th, the miles you run, walk or swim can count towards a better life for victims of child sex trafficking.”

And I am joining in!

I generally don’t like to exercise but I love to do it for a purpose. And the purpose usually has to be more than “look good in a bathing suit” because they make suits to correct all your problem areas

Will you help me? My goal is to raise $500 for LOVE 146. If you are not familiar with this organization I highly recommend you visiting their website to learn more about their work to end child sex trafficking and exploitation.

Ways You Can Help:

1. Visit my donation page and make a donation to Love 146.  No amount is too small!
2. Fill out a donation pledge form and mail it in with a check. No amount is too small!
3. Post about Tread on Trafficking on your blog and ask your readers to support me! You can link to my donation page HERE.
4. Tweet about Tread on Trafficking and ask your followers to support me! Again you can link to my donation page HERE

Wouldn’t it be awesome if we WAY EXCEEDED my goal?!?!

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

The word of the Lord came to Zechariah: The Lord of Host says this: Render true justice. Show faithful love and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the stranger or the poor, and do not plot evil in your hearts against one another. Zechariah 7:8-10

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

What does this look like in my life as a stay at home mom in the suburbs?

What does this look like in your life?

What should it look like in our lives?