If I’m being completely honest with myself I abandoned my family a couple of Saturday’s ago. I “escaped” the house to run a couple of errands I “had” to run and then I texted Bill to see if I could go and see a movie. He, being the great dad and husband he is, said yes. Now, going to see a movie is not how I abandoned my family. Why I went to see the movie was. I had run my errands and the thought of going back home was overwhelming. I had too much to do {the house was filthy}, I didn’t want to play cars, Mickey Mouse, or Elmo one more time, I didn’t want to change a diaper or worry if they had eaten. I wanted to check out. So I did.

The past couple of weeks I have had a really hard time. My personality is usually able to hold it together pretty well but I was pretty much falling apart and I think it was pretty obvious. I was irritable towards my boys and at times downright hateful towards my husband. {I’ve had to do a lot of apologizing!} I cried because I couldn’t find a long sleeve white t-shirt for Thomas and when the photo center wouldn’t let me pick up my pictures without having the photographers release. I was a mess.

I could blame it on a lot of things: Will no longer napping, Thomas being newly very mobile and getting into everything, moving, trying to make friends, planning a birthday party, and the list goes on and on and on.  Then I had to take a good hard look at myself and confess that the problem was me. Being selfish.

And I love how God can really teach us when we’re at a really low point. The first was a “treasure” from my Mom reminding me that God is the potter and I am the clay and when he notices an imperfection he doesn’t leave it but squashes the pot and starts remolding. I definitely think that God is working on me by breaking down my self-reliance and causing me to truly depend on Him for every day endurance.

And I love how I can learn and connect with other moms via blogs! Seriously, some days these are the only things that make me feel “normal!” And guess what? I’m not the only mom who sometimes feels like their lives are spiraling out of control – just this week these blog posts let me know that I’m not crazy!

Little Steps {Kelly at Kelly’s Korner}

Guess What, Guys!? {Amanda at Baby Bangs}

Thoughts on Vocation…. {Abba’s Girl}

This blog by Katy is one of my all time favorites. You just have to read it because I can’t describe it but even though she is also the mom of 2 young boys she has such peace and joy that comes through her writing. Not that she’s perfect – she shares the hard things too!

Embrace & Let Go {Katy Rose}

God has also revealed some very practical steps I can take to be more focused and intentional in my every day life! Love that God doesn’t leave us in our broken down, crumbling pile of mess but lifts us up to do what He has called us to do and gives us the strength and endurance to do it!

Last week I had the great idea that we should go to the grand opening of the Amigo’s restaurant near our house. Then I convinced Dana and Jonathan that they should go with us! The boys and I got there about 6:30 and it was packed but we put our name in anyways. Dana & Jonathan got there about 7 and we waited until 7:30 for a table. Not too big of a deal since it was packed – I was just ready for some good Mexican food!

As soon as we sat down the waiter took our order. We should have known to leave right that minute when he didn’t know how to say or spell anything that we ordered – well, he got Will’s order of chicken tenders and french fried down right! We enjoyed ourselves, we ate about 4 pounds of chips and salsa and then we started getting antsy for our food. They brought several plates to our table but it wasn’t what we had ordered. Finally, they brought out Will’s chicken and a quesadilla for Bill that was missing steak but they quickly fixed that. Still no food for me, Dana or Jonathan. An hour and 15 minutes after we ordered they came to our table with more “wrong” food – I asked if we could just cancel our order but then Jonathan said we would just eat whatever they had in their hands! So we did. They brought about 6 plates of food to our table – none of it that we had ordered – but it was still pretty good.

I couldn’t resist taking some {really bad} pictures with my phone! Seriously, look at all those plates! Also, Thomas {and Will} ate an entire can of “Tomato Garden” Gerber snacks while we were waiting.

And I think that Dana and Jonathan will never go along with any “good idea” I have in the future! I kept trying to convince them that we’ll all laugh about this in a few months and it will be a fun memory but they weren’t buying it. So, our night was a little loco but we’ll try it again in a few months when they figure out what in the world they’re doing work out the kinks!

Will and I are in a club. It’s an “I Love Taco Bell” club because it’s our favorite place to eat. (Well, Will has recently taken an affection towards McDonald’s but I’m sure it’s just a phase.) In Nashville we ate at Taco Bell about once a week but we haven’t been eating there as much lately. So, this week we thought it was about time to initiate Thomas into our “I Love Taco Bell” club.

I ordered Thomas a cheese roll up and at first he wasn’t sure what he was suppose to do with it.

Will gave him a little coaching and encouragement.

Thomas quickly got the gist of eating a taco.

And proceeded to eat every.single.bite.

A couple of months ago we started a new “good behavior program” at our house. I bought a bag of marbles at the dollar store and cleaned out a cherry jar and let Will know that when he filled the jar with marbles he would earn a reward. This time his reward was a trip to Chuck E. Cheese!

Will earned his last marble at the first of the year. He can earn marbles by obeying without complaining, feeding the dog, putting up his dirty clothes, being nice to his brother, being cooperative at the grocery store and sometimes just for being cute.

Will was SO proud of earning all his marbles! There are 50 marbles in the bag and it took him the better part of 2 months to earn them all. Some days he lost more marbles than he earned!

Typical Will.

PawPaw and Nonny met us at Chuck E. Cheese for the festivities. {And Will somehow convinced them that they should take us to eat at Ichiban!}

This backhoe ride is Will’s absolute favorite thing at Chuck E. Cheese – he probably spend half of his tokens at this ride!

Thomas took a ride on Clifford.

He had this really amused look on his face the entire ride. It was like he was really having a good time but wasn’t quite sure what exactly was going on.

It was a fun morning for all of us! We can’t wait for Will to earn all of his marbles again

Moving is hard. Some days are harder than others. So many people have said, “Aren’t you so glad to be back home” and they are sincere and glad that we’re here but the hard thing to explain is that moving to Chattanooga did not feel like a move home. For the past {almost} 10 years our home has been in Jackson, New York City and Nashville. When we left Chattanooga we were kids and now we’re not only adults but parents!

So, it feels like we have moved to a new city. And with that comes figuring out a new routine, finding a new church and making new friends. And some days it is easier to sit at home and mope about not having a routine, church and friends! This past week was especially hard for some reason. I think it irrationally had something to do with the fact that we have sold our house! Great news! But as we move towards closing my very last “tie” to Nashville is going away. In my mind the fact that I still owned a house there made it feel like I really hadn’t permanently moved. It is taking some adjustment but I think for the most part we are all doing ok. {I may be having the hardest time!}

It is amazing that we have family so close! I have taken advantage of dropping one or both boys with grandparents or great-grandparents in order to run errands quickly, take one to the doctor or go out to eat. It has given me a little flexibility in what I am able to pursue just for fun – for instance, on Tuesday afternoons my Mom and Dad come over and watch the boys until Bill gets home so I can leave and go to clogging class. {Side Note: I graduated from the beginners class!}

Will has quickly learned that he can now ask his grandparents “Can I come play at your house?” Can I spend the night with you?” and they usually agree. He thinks it’s the best!

So, as we enter this new chapter in Chattanooga I am looking forward to this new routine {which includes lots of fun things like gymnastics, running and clogging}, investing in our new church through a small group, Bible study and Awana and hopefully making some new friends! And of course, spending a lot of quality time with our families because you never know when you might move again!

Did you have a big party to celebrate the new year? We did. If by clean the playroom, organize the attic and fall asleep before midnight is what you mean by big party!

This week I started thinking about what I would like to work on and accomplish in 2012 and the list could go on and on and on. Then I took a look back at my 2011 Goals. And seriously, I didn’t do all that great. But I probably did better than I would have if I hadn’t made a list.

My goal for 2012 is a little different – I only have one. BE INTENTIONAL. I feel like a lot of days I am just going through the motions and none of it really matters, registers, or makes a difference. So this year I am going to strive to be intentional every day – from being in the Word to being present when listening to Will talk and talk and talk.

It’s going to be a hard task but I’m ready for the challenge!

Have you made any goals or resolutions for 2012?

Will was not very cooperative at our last photo shoot (Thomas’ 9 month pictures) and I had been  hoping to get a couple of picture of just him to mark his third year. So, after Christmas our friend Ryan came over and took some pictures of Will playing with his favorite things. It was the perfect way to capture who Will is as a 3 year old! If you’re in Chattanooga and looking for a good family photographer give Ryan a try – Ruby Photography: rubyphotos (at) hotmail (dot) com

After our morning at home we went to Papa and Honey’s house to celebrate Christmas.

When we got there Will had a gift from Papa’s cousin waiting for him – a HUGE Hot Wheels racetrack.

Thomas got right to eating lunch! The rest of us waited until Mimi & PawPaw got there to dig in.

After lunch, we headed downstairs to open presents. Will was so excited when he saw his big gift sitting out.

Papa helping Will use his backhoe.

But, I think Honey was the most surprised with her new bicycle.

Thomas was excited about his busy ball popper.

Will was really excited about a frog loofah. Although now he won’t let me wash him with it because it’s currently the bed for his rubber duck.

Thomas started to play the drum before we could get it out of the box.

Hands down this “cooker” outfit is the afternoon’s winner. He wears it every. single. day. And he cooks Ichiban food at this kitchen – if you come and visit he will even do an egg trick for you.

After playing Will, Honey & Dana rode their bicycles.

We ended the afternoon by singing Happy Birthday to Jesus and eating cake.

Jonathan & Dana

{ 2 Comments }